Marriage

Marriages are made in heavens goes a saying. You can find some version of this in almost all cultures (More about cultures in a later blog.). Since, scientific evidence for the “heavens” is lacking, I as a rationale being cannot accept the first statement. (I am too good….. ain’t I?)

I have quite a few arguments for taking the active stance, which I have taken, against Marriage.
These have been listed below:


Reasoning 1:

Marriage is the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies

The above is the definition I got from dictionary.com. It is also very close to the meaning given in my copy of the oxford dictionary.

Let me make it clear that I am not against love or more specifically romance. All I am against is the institution that is marriage.

Most of you may ask what is the difference. There is and it is quite simple, at least to me.
You have friends, right? You don’t have a ceremony to declare that this is my friend. Nor do you have a ceremony to say; my friend and I are parting ways, we are no longer friends.

See the logic? So, why have a ceremony to declare someone is your husband or wife?


Reasoning 2:

I have been asking the question “Why should one necessarily get married?” to almost everyone I know. The answer is get is “To share my life.” Or “ Imagine, when you are 50-60 yrs old. You will want someone to love and be close with.”

These answers all point to one thing: Fear. Yeah, yeah, I know. Most of you, will not agree with me. Some of you are probably thinking of some nice juicy words and lines for the comments. But people, sadly the truth is that it is true. It is fear of being alone that drives most people to marriage.

So, if you are really strong you will not have fear of being alone. Hence, you need not marry at all. This is not to say that all married people are weak, but most are.


Reasoning 3:

This is a reasoning to which great person (read, my elder sister) awakened me. I did a little research of my own and the finding did corroborate the conclusion to which I had already arrived.

This is again another major reason why many people in India marry. They want to have sex. I can hear the boos and nay’s. But people it is the sad truth about our culture. It is indeed a sad insight into our culture. We Indians push the entire topic of sex under the carpet. Have you seen any family (read, parents and children) having an open conversation about this topic? No, I have till date not come across such a situation. The result is a country full of sex-obsessed individuals. And, this is the country where marriage is considered sacred. Pathetic.

There is another reason why many men marry. They just want a unpaid house keeper who will also double up as their emotional support. A person who will put up with them no matter what they do.

Neither are the woman any more pious than men. What else does a woman want from a husband? They want a free meal. A person who will jump up to defend them, even for the most stupidest thing they do. And, the social status associated with marriage. Most women also follow the social norm that the better your spouse is (financially and socially), the better for you.


Conclusion:

I do not oppose marriage, when the people involved know each other, love each other and more importantly have respect for each other. But I do oppose people getting married for the sake of getting married.

I have not spoken about the survival of the species/procreation argument for marriage as it is a non-issue. We do not have any responsibility to increase our numbers.