Sisters

Sisters, who can live with them or without them?

It is my personal opinion that all sisters should have a statutory warning label like they do on the cigarette packets. You may ask, why then do you still continue the relationship? Well, it is the same reason as why people continue to smoke, drink, and do drugs even though they know about their ill hazards. Believe me it is addictive and you will want to have more and more sisters. The worst part is there are no rehab centers for people like me!!

I have so many sisters that I have started loosing count. Okay, I am exaggerating by a huge margin here; the actual count is in the range of eight.

Read below to know how these sisters of mine make my life funny, happy, and sometimes drive me to utter insanity. In short, they add spice to my life.

This is what my elder sister (She is an darling [for lack of a better word] angel.) has made and I dread will continue to make me do.

I was once dumb enough to agree, when my sister asked me if I could go along with her for shopping (translation: It simply means they[girls] need a person who will drive her around, carry her bags, doesn’t comment on the time or on the choice of her tastes.). And, she even told me that she hadn’t seriously shopped (translation: which means, buying clothes that they[girls] can but will not wear for a lifetime) in a long time (translation: means about around a month). She made me wait in front of the dressing room with a whole bunch of clothes dumped on me! Imagine, my plight. And, guess what? It took her only two and half hours to decide on her clothes. She in between asked me if I was feeling embarrassed? Duh! What kind of a dumb question is that? Of course I was embarrassed. Thankfully she didn’t ask me to pay for her clothes, which was a big relief. The icing on the cake was this statement by her as we were going home: “I thought we could buy something for you too. But I guess there is no time, I have some work to do.”

The next one is even better. Her cooking. I seriously pity the person who is going to marry my sister. Once, she decided to make Poori (a south Indian dish). It was so hard that even my dog had difficulty eating it. Then there is this Thakkali Sadam that she made (I’ll never forget this once for the rest of my life.). She used a pressure cooker. The result: the rice at the bottom was roasted, on the top it was somewhere between uncooked and half-cooked. There was this tiny layer in between that was cooked properly. I can’t even today understand how she got it. Then she literally force feed the whole thing to me while laughing uncontrollably.

Now, for the sister who really spices up my life. She was my classmate in college and now my most adorable younger sister. How does she spice up my life? Well, she calls up at 11 in the night (all most every day) and cringes about something or the other. Well, what will any good brother do? Cheer her up. Well, that’s what I do. It usually takes an hour or so and by the time we say bye, her spirits are up or at least that’s what she says. Finally, I go to bed feeling good about myself. The next day around lunchtime I get a message from her saying that she’s still feeling low. This happens everytime. Isn't that enough to drive even a sane man to insanity; imagine what it will do to an already insane person?

Next, is the only second person that almost agrees with all most of my ideas (The first of course being my darling angel.). She’s crazy but on a lower scale then me though. Well, she irritates me by commenting on my laziness every time we speak. I have told her many times to give it a rest but she keeps continuing. It drives me nuts.

Then there is this sister of mine, whom I got to know mostly because we kept and keep getting into arguments (pointless arguments according to her, which I don’t agree with). Have you ever known anyone who laughs when someone is discussing a serious issue with them or scolding them? Well, she does precisely that. Effect, I get more gray hairs, and my blood pressure shoots up.

Then are these two classmates from my college again who are now my sisters. Both are pretty okay. One does sort of drive me mad because she never listens to me. I go mad of asking her the same question and getting the same reply that she still hasn’t done what she was supposed to do. I think I should be happy, as things would have been worse if she had been working in town. And the other sister is the only one of my sisters, who I think has up to now never tried to drive me crazy (Excepting of course the one time she nearly came close to the precipice of insanity but I pushed her back to sanity. But, i pushed her back to sanity, becasue she was not ready yet for insanity.).

Next is the sister that made and makes me very happy. Why? She’s is the third person, who agrees with most of the things I say. But, even she doesn’t agree with me on everything. I guess I am that rare breed of genius who comes along once in a millennium. Understanding, accepting, and appreciating such a genius like myself itself requires a kind of genius that comes along only once in a hundred years. So, back to the topic of discussion. Don’t worry she is not even near the vicinity of the area of what may and can be classified as the lower zones of my genius. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, how she drove me crazy. Well, it made to me so happy to find another person who is like me, that I went crazy.

I have saved the best for the last. Because, this next sister of mine is the winner hands down. No arguments about it. Why? She very nearly killed me by giving me a heart attack. I know, what you guys would be thinking. That she probably brought home some guy and introduced him as her boy friend. No, that wouldn’t give anyone a heart attack would it? C’mon people have some imagination. Remember people she is my sister. Can’t guess still, here’s the answer. She’s recently taken to calling me “anna”(Tamil, for elder brother). Now, you are probably wondering why she calling me anna gave me a heart attack. Because, until about seven-eight years ago, we both used to literally have wrestling matches with each other (serious ones, mind you). Come to think of it, I guess theses wrestling matches do partially explain some of my hair loss. Okay, enough about my hair loss problems, back to the story. You might wonder, didn’t you anticipate this, in the intervening years? See, in between, we didn’t get to meet each other lot because of my studies (Yeah, right) and generally we lost contact. So imagine, how would it be when suddenly she called me anna? I know what you people are thinking? You probably want to meet my sister to congratulate her on nearly killing me. But, sorry I am not going to name her so you people can never know who she is. (Sorry sis, you have to remain anonymous. But you know who you are and so you know how many people would have come to look up on you as a savior had you managed to kill me.) Evil, ain't I?

Note:

Not all sisters are like mine nor do I guarantee that they all would not be so. I have chosen to write only how they drive me crazy. They of course also sometimes make me very happy. I have written about the instances when they drive me mad not because of any lack of instances where they have made me happy but because I have chosen not mention these instances.

Special Note to Girls:

The intention of this blog is not to scare any brother into disowning his sisters. I till date have not disowned a single sister. I do not and will not take responsibility if any brother does so. As it is up to each individual on how he interprets this blog. But, I guess you all know that you have nothing to fear from one small tiny little blog. There are about hundreds of thousands of warning out there about marriage. Yet, men keep getting married.